Lifexpressed Digitally

Who is this girl? I’m Marianne Ahlea Camara Gapasin. My first name

“Marianne”, is the French version of the Greek Mariamne, which is a variant of Mary and my second name “Ahlea” means the one who has the beauty of dreams; that’s the etymology of my name. By the way, I’m a 16 year old Filipina girl and my birthdate is on July 5, 2002. I’ll describe myself without the use of cliches like stating my likes & dislikes, my hobbies, my favorite color, my favorite subject and what so ever.

I’ve got a bit of split personality thing being that in public I’m loud and outgoing. With family I’m proper, posh and always in a emotionless state. With friends in person I’m still loud and outgoing. Then online friends I am… hmmm… no real word for it aside from dimension breaking insane wearing a fancy top hat drinking spring water from a plastic glove. I like most music that is energetic and upbeat, depressing stuff just puts me down too much.

Being a girl become a difficult lifestyle. Between our stages in life, staggering attitudes and emotions, I don’t know how we would get through it. I myself am a girl, born and raised as one; so I know first hand that I can be very frail and take many chances. I’m also the target for a lot of people, for emotional support and other things.

Ever since my early days of childhood, I had always been a fighter. I had to fight to get where I was going, and I learned that a lot of people are really big bullies and if you don’t do what they tell you, they tend to get really pissed. I got a lot of experiences that I can recall where someone made me feel puny because of my gender. Ever since I was younger, this problem frustrated me, the problem of male bias that seemed so prominent in the world and especially in my life. Just because I’m dress wearing, pony tailed, doll playing human doesn’t mean I’m not as tough as anyone else in this world. I believe that since girls have a different sight look of things, people think we’re weak, and powerless.

Being strong willed and strong hearted is a trait that many feel is a great character to have. At this point in my life; I can truly say that it can sometimes be a long road to achieve this character; but is defiantly worth the hard work and perseverance.

You think you know me… You look at the surface and think you know me. You think I am like everyone else. I am a woman, therefore I am predictable.

I am emotional roller coaster. I am needy. I am jealous. I am weak. I am dramatic. I am lonely. I am a chocolate friend. I am a shopaholic. I am a closet basket case. I am a hopeless romantic. Because, isn’t every woman?

You think I am “that” type of girl. I am the kind of girl that you should have given a chance, because I am better than the stereotype.

I am that kind of girl that is always the second choice, because you think you can do better. She is too nice for her own good. She is too naive for her delicate heart. She is too optimistic about people. She is the kind of girl that will never cut you off. She is the kind of girl that will always give you another chance, even when you don’t deserve it.

I am the kind of girl that you fear, because she doesn’t need you. The kind of girl that wants you to be at her side while she succeeds, but doesn’t need your help doing it. She is not afraid to be on her own, not afraid of what the future hold, not afraid to jump and fall. She is the kind of girl who is comfortable being single.

I am the kind of girl you are secretly intimidated by, because she does not care what you think. She is not afraid to have fun or fear that she may not be liked. She is not afraid to make someone laugh at her own expense. She doesn’t have a care in the world what people think of her, including you.

I am the kind of girl that says what is on her mind, because being meek has gotten her nowhere. She has been chewed up, trampled on and has come back swinging. She has watched too many chance pass by to let life keep her down. She is tired of people holding her back. She is the kind of girl who is tired of holding herself back.

I am that girl that wears kindness on her sleeve, because there is too much hate in this world. She is not afraid to take a chance, not afraid to jump, not afraid to fall. She is the kind of girl that will always believe there is good in people.

I am also that kind of girl that you are going to miss out on, because you didn’t take a chance on the real me. You didn’t see that I am more than just a stereotype. But mostly, you didn’t take the time to see the real me.